Kevin Keegan, football sage, signs for ESPN

Footy fans on both sides of the Atlantic are in for a special treat now that Kevin Keegan – the master of the mixed metaphor, the knight of nonsense – has been hired as a pundit for ESPN‘s football broadcasts. For Americans unfamiliar with the former European Player of the Year and England manager, Keegan‘s peculiar brand of wisdom is most akin to legendary Baseball player Yogi Berra’s. Berra, who played for the New York Yankees during the 1950s and 1960s, spewed out enough claptrap to fill his own chapter in the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations. In fact, sometimes it’s hard for us to tell the two apart.

Below are several quotes from both of these celebrated deep thinkers.  See if you can guess which belongs to who. (Answers at the bottom)

A. They’re the second best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise than that.

B. It ain’t the heat; it’s the humility.

C. He has got a big heart. It’s as big as him, which isn’t very big, but it’s bigger.

D. In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg.

E. Nobody goes there anymore because it’s too crowded.

F. The tide is very much in our court now.

G. I’ve had an interest in racing all my life, or longer really.

H. It’s understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney.

I. It’s like deja vu all over again.

J. You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.

Keegan and Berra: Spewing nonsense on both sides of the Atlantic

Answers…

A. Keegan  B. Berra  C. Keegan  D. Keegan  E. Berra  F. Keegan  G. Keegan  H. Keegan.  I. Berra  J. Berra