New Jersey Gets Its Own Abramovich

Earlier this week, Russian oligarch Mikhail Prokhorov made a bid for control of the New Jersey Nets, which plays in America’s professional basketball league, the NBA.  If accepted, Prokhorov would join rapper Jay-Z, who has a minority stake in the team and is seeking to move it across the Hudson River to his hometown of Brooklyn.  As Russia’s richest man and one of the world’s most eligible bachelors, Mikhail-P is one of the few people on the planet who could show Jay-Z a thing or two about fast cars and fast women.  After all, this is a man who was once interrogated by police in the French Alps for allegedly bringing in prostitutes for guests at his Christmas party.  (Ho, ho, ho!)

Prokhorov joins a growing list of oligarchs who’ve invested in sports teams outside of Russia in recent years.  (Think Roman Abramovich at Chelsea, Alisher Usmanov at Arsenal, and Alexandre Gaydamak at Portsmouth.)  It’s a trend that has been met with scorn from some of Russia’s ruling elite.  ”I can’t consider this action as anything other than unpatriotic,” one member of Russia’s parliament said about Prokhorov’s proposed deal.  But from an investment purpose, buying an NBA team or Premier League club promises a much quicker return than purchasing a Russian sports club, which would require significant investment in its infrastructure.  Although the cynics would also add that buying a stake in a non-Russian franchise gives the oligarchs the credibility and attention that they are desperately craving outside of the motherland.

I've got this much money on me right now.